The.Sarcastic.Loves.

Loves

According to Michael Novotny from Queer as Folk, gay men think about sex every 9 seconds.
Inculcating a little Singaporean twist, one could be queuing up for 4D, jiving to the spins of “the King of Sundays” at St James or mugging for your A levels at 3.30 am in the morning, all while checking out a hot guy.
And you would want him stripped, enema-ed, all oiled up and lying on your bed for your pleasure before work tomorrow.
The public perception of the gay man’s attitude towards sex is anything but flattering. We’re the promiscuous ones, the ones who have caused the recent increase in HIV cases, the ones who deserve no liberty or right to be intimate, even privately, because according to an esteemed professor, what we do has been described as “putting a straw in one’s nose and sucking in”
How shameful of us. But perhaps too much has been spent debating the morality of having casual sex – simply because sex is just sex, no?
Conservatives and Traditionalists, the opponents of “fun”, constantly bombard us with their monogamous fundamentalist notion of “waiting for the right one”. They speak of “reserving themselves” for that special one, similar to how Drew Barrymore, in “Never Been Kissed” scoffed the need to kiss a bunch of losers to find the right one.
Meanwhile, us, the majority, just go, “Come on, it’s just Sex”.
“Come on, we are Men… we have as much sex as we want, as many times as we can get it – we’re fundamentally as easy to understand as A-B-C,” a friend quipped.
Sex is sex, no? I have a friend who has had sex with numerous men. Whenever he meets someone new to screw, he puts a ‘G’ in front of the names of his prey to ensure that their names are all lined up neatly in his contact list.
i.e.
G MarcusG CharlieG AndyG Choon Teck
Sex, to him, is a fundamental necessity, the energizer that keeps the bunny vibrating. He doesn’t kiss in bed, he doesn’t hug in bed – To him, it’s about fulfilling a natural urge.
“When I get into bed, I strip, I lie down and he puts my organ where it needs to be. He gets what he asks for and I get what I need. We just do what we have to until we’re both… ideally, satisfied..”
He then takes a shower, changes and leaves when the transaction’s sealed. No fuss, no musts. Just unadulterated, transactional sex to quench an uncontrollable urge.
But truly, is sex ever really just sex for the typical homosexual men? Is pleasure really the primary driving force that motivates us to go through the various stages that starts with:Initial contact Physical Assessment, Offer and Acceptance and finally, Penetration (wherever it takes place).
Do we have sex for the sole reason that we can, because 2 individuals can be sexually pleasured without having to worry about the consequences of procreation?
I’ll throw in a possibility: Perhaps sex has become a social construct, a pillar that gay men have constructed and adopted, to use as a platform to achieve things way beyond carnal gratification.
There are a myriad of reasons. Whether it is to get closer to a hot guy, to widen social connections, to relieve one of homosexual tensions, for that temporal security and fleeting sense of superficial "love", to exercise dominance, or to experience "total submission" – Sex brings many other benefits.
In this light, it might not be too ludicrous to say that sex, which involves the intimate process of stripping down to bare nothingness and engaging in something that is arguably, the most intimate interaction 2 human beings can ever have, is never just about sex.
If sex is really just sex, why do we automatically have a pre-requisite look, height, weight, race, preferred position? We go through the fuss of exchanging pictures and having to truly figure out if this romp is going to work. If sex is just sex, then like Miranda Hobbes in Sex and The City said, let’s just get it over with!
Aesthetics, another answered. We want to have sex with the aesthetically pleasing. Sex is a 2 way physical art-appreciation exercise.
However, if it is second nature for us to require our partners to be pleasing to the eye, we end up employing a fundamental filtration mechanism, isn’t sex a little too much hassle for it to be just sex?
Like it or not, sex is on our minds, day and night. Or apparently, every 9 seconds, for 365 days. In light of this, to say that sex is “just sex”, is quite possibly the understatement of the 20th century. Author’s bio: Caustic & an over-analytical realist, it's hard to believe he's quite the hopeless romantic. Friends tell him life's too short to take it too seriously - He disagrees. Love intrigues him. But the only true loves he has found are named Moët & Hermès. He 'colours' every opportunity he has.